Have you ever felt like fat and food were your enemies? Like everything would be better if you could just lose weight—and eat whatever you want without consequence?

I felt that way for much of my childhood and teens, when unresolved trauma and low self-esteem led to a long battle with food and my body.

I struggled with bulimia for over a decade, starting at twelve. And though I technically “recovered” in my early twenties, I spent years after trapped in rigid food rules and a lingering fear of eating the “wrong” thing.

It wasn’t until my thirties that I …